A few years ago, Bahiyyih and I were at Dan and Zivar's house, and we were taking turns reading the Sunday comics. We laughed in particular about the comics that were impenetrable to us, like Judge Parker, M.D. (or something like that -- I mean the comics that were in the paper the entire time I was growing up, but I never managed to read; I don't think they were even trying to pass the funny test). Zivar said "Dan likes to read them to the kids." She listed a bunch of comics. "Peanuts, Zits, even Prince Valiant."
"Prince Valiant?" I asked her.
"Yeah, but he likes to change the words."
So Dan demonstrated. Out of left field, he intoned, "And look, this guy just invented rope." Sure enough, it looked just like an iron-age technology demonstration. To this day, that's my favorite reading of a comic strip.
Anyway, my point is that making up new words to irrelevant or objectionable traditional materials is part of parenting. You might be drawn into the practice by changing the uncooperative trains' dialog in The Little Engine that Could from things like:
"Pull the likes of you? I would never dream of stooping so low as to pull toys; I have more important things to do," said the Big, Shiny, New Locomotive.
to:
"I can see that you need help, but simply must get this load of perishable medicines to a hospital supply depot in Mexico. If you're still here when I get back, I'll give you a lift for sure."
You might move on to sanitizing fairy tales, and then re-wording nursery rhymes, all in the interest of freeing your offspring of the mental handicaps of their parents' age.
In that spirit, I give you our latest version of Little Bunny Foo Foo, despite the risk that it will wimpify anyone who hears it, by artificially shielding them from the harsh realities of our world:
Little Rabbit Foo Foo (Teresa prefers "Rabbit" over "Bunny")
Hoppin' through the woods-woods (I was bored with the word "forest")
Pickin' up the chipmunks
And washing behind their ears. (Rub behind Teresa's ears)Down came the fairy, and this is what she said:
Little Rabbit Foo Foo,
I'm happy to see you,
Pickin' up the chippey-munks
And washing behind their ears.
[spoken]And you can also kiss their little toes!Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Hoppin' through the woods-woods,
Scoopin' up the chipmunks
And washing behind their ears. (Rub behind Teresa's ears)
And kissing their little toes. (Kiss or tickle Teresa's toes)Down came the fairy, and this is what she said:
Little Rabbit Foo Foo,
I'm happy to see you,
Pickin' up the chippity-munks
And washing behind their ears. (Rub behind Teresa's ears)
And kissing their little toes. (Kiss or tickle Teresa's toes)
[spoken]And you can also tickle their widdle tummies. (Tickle Teresa's tummy)Etc.
Or perhaps, as is my hope, it will help to create a new reality, one with more tickling of toes and less bopping of heads.
